Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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