honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
