Screwed.edu
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
