I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is the high leading the old right now
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
