In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
