So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
