So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
