when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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