I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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