So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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