No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
