Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my shit smells like andre
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
