Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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