what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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