Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
