I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
