This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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