"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
