I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize