shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
