I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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