pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
