He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
