I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
