All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Randomize