Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
