we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
