I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
