I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
