I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
