Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
