just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
