wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
