i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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