you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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