Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just google imaged poop.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
