im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I lost the right to judge tonight
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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