Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
