Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
