Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
