are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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