Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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