C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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