where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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