I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
