forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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