so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
