Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
