I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
