you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
