Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
